Meet the new Pope - same as the old Pope...

I was digging through some old emails the other day, when I came across a humorous little piece I composed on the election of the new Pope, Benedict XVI, following the death of the old Pope, John Paul II. Being no great fan of the Roman Catholic Church (okay, that's a huge understatement...), I thought I would have a poke at the process of Papal succession by likening it to a user attempting upgrading a piece of software, finding problems with it and then submitting a request for assistance to a user-group bulletin board.

Enjoy...

***

Hmmm....when I try to run the upgrade wizard for VaticanSoft PopeBenedict v16.0, I get the following messages:

'Info: Windows is about to install the following ScreenSaviour Themes: last_supper, crucifixion and ascension. The ScreenSaviours play audio file angelic_choir.mp3. Please associate this file with your default media player.'

'Info: Windows is about to install the icons for JesusChrist.exe, VirginMary.exe and PopeBenedict.exe on your desktop. Continue? Y/N'

So far so good. But then I get...

'Warning: Windows cannot find a copy of the file rationality.exe on the installation disk. PopeBenedict v16.0 may not run correctly without it.'

'Warning: McAfee AntiVirus has detected a file dogma.exe on the installation disk. This is a known virus. McAfee will attempt to quarantine this file. You should run AntiVirus after the installation of PopeBenedict v16.0 is completed, to check for other malicious programmes'

'Warning: there is a sharing violation on the file absolute_truth.dll; this file is already in use by judaism.exe and islam.exe.'

'Warning: the files allow_abortion.dll, promote_contraception.dll and accept_sexual_diversity.dll appear to be missing. If you continue with the installation, these options will be disabled.'

'Warning: the file core_teachings.dll has not been updated since 81AD. The installation wizard has searched the web for updates, but cannot find any. It is recommended that you update this file as soon as possible.'

'Warning: the file revealed_truth.exe is in conflict with the file scientific_method.exe. PopeBenedict v16.0 will only run with revealed_truth.exe. You must disable scientific_method.exe before running PopeBenedict v16.0'

'Warning: the files compassion.exe, tolerance.exe and benevolence.exe appear to have been corrupted. You should run ScanDisk after the installation is completed, and repair these files.'

This doesn't look good. After all the problems we had with PopeJohnPaul v2.0, I was hoping that VaticanSoft's latest offering would be a little less flaky...

***

And it seems that my misgivings about Benedict XVI have turned out to be completely justified, sadly. Not that we were ever going to get an enlightened, progressive liberal elected to the most powerful post in the Christian Church, of course...